…But I hate Valentine’s Day.
-Every Anti-Valentine Hater Ever
Alright, so lets be honest, I have definitely been an Anti-Valentine’s day hater before this year. I gave the typical “you should show love everyday” response blah blah blah. Rolling my eyes so hard at the overload of teddy bears, roses and mushy love posts, that I thought they’d get stuck that way. (I know my mama wasn’t the only person who told me that would happen when I was younger) Whether you’re single or with someone, Valentine’s Day is usually one of those holidays a few people would rather avoid. Whether it’s the trumped up idea of consumerism and a ploy to get you to go buy shit you don’t need, or the subconscious pressure to show MORE love than you normally do, I can understand the push-back.
In the same breath, I found this years Valentine’s celebration to be a pivotal one. Seriously, since the pandemic happened, we can all agree on “What IS a holiday?” It’s true that our celebrations have changed drastically, yet that shouldn’t stop us from cultivating our closest relationships with others and ourselves. If anything, I made sure to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, because 1) we all deserve a little more love right now, and 2) I wanted to create a little self-love challenge, not only for myself, but for those who felt it’s time to stop hiding & start celebrating themselves wholeheartedly.
To know me is to know that I advocate for self-love/self-care. You truly only get one meat suit in this lifetime, and how you go about loving on it is entirely up to you.
Unfortunately, it took me far too long to unlearn and heal from societal body-shaming & childhood experiences.
In 2018, Rihanna launched Savage X Fenty & not only changed the game as we know it but also lit a fire within me I almost forgot existed. Ever since my first VIP purchase, I’ve been hooked, to say the least.
For a girl who’s been single for almost a decade, you better believe I treat myself like the best girlfriend ever. (because I am.. duh! lol) This Valentine’s Day will be no different, except I wanted to make you all my Valentines’ & share some of my favorite sets as we move through a week full of prompts and affirmations for unconditional self-love.
Self-love for me is admiring every single stretch mark and refusing to smooth and edit any rolls or cellulite. It’s also being kind to myself in the moments of fluctuations.
I noticed my first stretch mark when I was 13. I’ve been up to a size 13 at about 170 pounds and I’ve been as small as a size 1 weighing around 114.
Assuring myself that I’m quite lovely in all sizes, just like we all are has been such a beautiful process.
Which is exactly why you gon get these lovely lady lumps today lol!
Today’s Affirmation: I am not my weight or my waistline. – @sa.liine
*Side note: This is not to knock anyone that does the above. If at any point I decide to do any of these things, I’m going to love me in all that glory as well. You betta believe that!
Thanks to my extended singledom, I’ve been able to fully enjoy my own space and utilized that time to figure out what I really wanted out of a relationship and what I truly had to offer.
Instead of going in search of these qualities in other people, I turned the attention on myself and wholeheartedly became everything that I desired. (After having to get real about what wasn’t desirable)
I love to practice using various love languages on myself. I like to celebrate myself with gifts and experiences. I’m constantly seeking new ways to see my own gorgeous smile. I give myself space when I need it and extra love on days I’m not feeling it. I speak to myself with compassion and can forgive myself when I don’t.
Turns out I am my own dream girl!
I love it here ❤️
Today’s Affirmation: Me respecting me, is not a disrespect to you. – @sa.liine
When I’m feeling like a foot and not quite myself, I like to take a super hot bath and throw on my favorite sexy set. Some days I order in, plop down with a modelo and binge watch true crime and horror. There are other days I just dance around the house until my knees give out. Nonetheless, both and everything in between brings me joy and lifts my spirit.
Being comfortable with not always having to be ON has been absolutely refreshing. If anything, I probably look a mess 80% of the week, but when that 20% wants to play…. hunty you better believe she SHOWS UP and SHOWS OUT!
What are some things you do to get out of a funk?
Today’s Affirmation: I am enough even when I don’t feel like it. – @sa.liine
In a world where there’s a constant battle of polarity, only because people are too busy trying to change and control others, the mere idea of being an individual can be daunting.
We promote freedom, yet chastise you for being unique. They say stay in your lane, when off-roading is really where the adventure happens. The audacity of the gangsta or dope man diminishing the hustle of OnlyFans…. how Sway?!
Who told you how to be you? Was it TV, magazines, your peers, parents? Do they wake up in your skin every day? Do they know your story? I think not.
In a world where rapid changes are happening every day, I think it’s imperative to get to know your star player. Regardless if you see it or not, we’re shifting these generational narratives. Your view of the world you knew is gone and just like any other great change, integration takes time.
Are you living a life you love or merely living for others?
Today’s Affirmation: I will allow myself to take up space because I was never supposed to fit in. – @sa.liine
In the words of The Great @nipseyhussle – 🏁
See you stickin to the script and start ripping out the pages of history,
it ain’t a mystery,
if I died yesterday my life would be a victory
Over the years, this little impulsive fire-cracker realized there was great magic in…dare I say it… ROUTINE! I found that really taking space for myself as opposed to trying to make space, made a huge difference for me. I never seemed to find time before, now it’s non-negotiable.
Every morning I write in my journal what I’m grateful for, what I can release, and how I’m feeling. Sundays and Wednesdays are designated bath days, as they help usher me into a new week and gives me a push over the hump. Fridays are for the Farmers Market where I take a stroll to buy myself some fresh flowers, and more often than not, end up at @mayahalaltaqueria for birria tacos.
These are my non-negotiables.
Today’s Affirmation: More self-appreciation, less self-deprecation. – @sa.liine
Having a mate gift you shit on Vday is cool and all but wouldn’t you want to know what it feels like to be validated all the time and celebrated randomly? It’s like setting new years resolutions, wouldn’t it be more rewarding to work on them throughout the year?
Setting, accomplishing and reevaluating.
I maintain a standard I can upkeep so that I don’t have to rely on anyone else. You also better believe I feel it when I slack off on myself.
That’s exactly why I treat myself like the Queen I am.
Honestly, I believe that by being my own best relationship and partner over time, I was truly able to call in someone with the same qualities, dedication to healing and love of self.
Today’s Affirmation: I rather have self-love than toxic love. – @sa.liine
Happy Valentine’s day lovers!
May you celebrate yourself, your partnerships, friendships and others today!
For those not into that, HAPPY MF’N SUNDAY!!
I hope you recognize your beauty, strength, and power every single day of the year. May you be celebrated like the amazingly beautiful King/Queen/Human Being that you are! ❤️
